I've decided to scratch my 365 project. At least the way I was thinking about it. It's now 5:12 a.m. and I've been up since at least 4:30 a.m. Since day one I have been trying to accomplish something that, right now I don't feel I can accomplish with my 365 project. I was searching for the wrong goal. I'm trying to create something not within my grasp given my current situation. Its time to refocus and move in a direction I completely forgot I was already going in.
The effort wont be as great to achieve what it is I'm after. I started this project a while ago and have only been sidetracked by a project that so many others have tried an accomplished. I heard or read what it was they had done and thought to myself that a 365 would be something to put under my belt and say I had done it too.
What I have failed to realise is that I am in a very unique postion to create images that not many others have or ever will. I tend to think too far outside the box at times ending up repositioning myself safely back inside the box because I want to follow or do what others already have. I know what my love is. Its now time to regather, refocus and push in the direction I started in and pick up where I left off.
I now know what I can use my tumblr page for. I will be changing the name and be more dilligent with what I will be doing with it. I can't believe that I have done what I've done. I know what I love and I suppose that waking with my mind racing at 4:30 a.m. and not being able to fall back asleep can make you realise things that I have really been overlooking. At the end of the day a 365, to me will do me no good. Forced photos to say I met my goal for the day. I know what I'm after and my results aren't matching up.
Old project underway. Hopefully with audio and video. I need to really get my shit together and do this. I just can't believe I got away from what I really love and aspire to do... documentary photography. I'll leave the photos I love to look at for those who are good at it. Regardless of how good I am or am not at it, I enjoy it. My gratification for photos of that genre make up for my competence or lack thereof. Dammit, I can't believe how long it took for me to get to this point. It is now time to move on and continue what I love to do. In essence I'm living a 365 and forgot I was doing so.
Time to focus and follow through. I guess it only took waking at 4:30 a.m. and letting my mind take over to realise this.
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